anna_mau (anna_mau) wrote in translators,

Help request with a letter in English

Dearest colleagues,
I haven't been translating into English for ages))) 

Could you have a look at a short passage of a simple letter that I've done and give me your suggestions on how to improve it.

OOO ZZZ Production company on request of “Channel 1” starts working on a documentary film, under the working title “XXX”.

The aim of the film is to tell people about the ways to avoid getting tricked by “virtual frauds” and about government services/state authorities’ actions preventing hackers attacks in future.

In October 2010 FBI officials arrested a criminal cybergroup which had illegally accessed to secret data related to the accounts of a number of companies and used such information for embezzlement of 220 million dollars. However, the hackers failed to complete their plan. They were arrested. By estimate, the total of all losses sustained by companies trough hackers’ fault amounts to 70 million dollars. 22 out of 37 criminals are Russian nationals.

In the age of a global spread of virtual money, the problem of hackers attacks becomes more pressing. Cash payments are now considered as an outdated form of monetary relations. We wonder how such crimes are cleared, who investigates them, how do they get on the trail of a criminal and what kind of proofs are sufficient to apply punishment to guilty persons. FBI officials have been working for a long time to reveal virtual machinations and to land criminals. The acquired recently experience allows to clear the most sophisticated crimes and to create new ways of information protection from criminal intrusion.

In this respect, we kindly ask for your collaboration with this matter.

Thank you in advance! 

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